Riddles

[HeadRat]

> > Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a
> > hooker?
> >
> > A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
> >
> > Q. What's a mixed feeling?
> >
> > A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in
> > your new car.
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
> >
> > Q What's the height of conceit?
> >
> > A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
> >
> >
> > Q. What's the definition of macho?
> >
> > A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
> >
> > Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf
> > ball?
> >
> > A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
> >
> > Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
> >
> > A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that
> > kick!
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
> >
> > Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
> >
> > A. Because it's worth it!
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
> >
> > Q. What is a Yankee?
> >
> > A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
> >
> > Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
> >
> > A. They both like a tight seal.
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
> >
> > Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
> >
> > A. Their balls are just for decoration.
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
> >
> > Q.What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and
> > 'aaaaaaah'?
> >
> > A. About three inches.
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
> >
> > Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
> >
> > A. The grip.
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
> >
> > Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
> >
> > A. It's not hard.
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
> >
> >
> > Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
> >
> > A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
> >
> > Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a
> > wife?
> >
> > A: 45 pounds.
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
> >
> >
> > Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a
> > husband?
> >
> > A: 45 minutes.
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
> >
> > Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
> >
> > A: Breasts don't have eyes.
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
> >
> >
> > Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of
> > true love?
> >
> > A.. The swallow.
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
> >
> >
> > Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
> >
> > A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
> >
> >
> > Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the
> > morning?
> > A . They don't have balls to scratch!
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
> >
> > OH, don't groan. You know darn well you're going to
> > send this on to somebody
> >
> > Live well, laugh hard, & love deeply!!!