TheJester
04-29-07, 01:18 AM
So my buddy from howsaboutabeer.com does what we both do regularly, calls me at 9am, not knowing, but probably suspecting that I just got home and to bed at 6am, inviting me to the Byron Nelson Golf Tournament. Meet up in 2 hours? Not a problem. Apparently, he had all inclusive passes, and who the hell is going to turn that down?
So after I run around the house getting ready, looking for my car keys and sunglasses, which I can't find until I look in the refrigerator (??), and then get pissed cause I can't find my cell phone, realizing I'm ON IT, I'm off speeding down the highway to Cool River Café.
Being new to the area and like most places, I have never been to the Cool River, let alone Las Colinas, but I can tell right off the bat, it's a great place. With the Tourney going on, the valet guys are hustling their asses off to park all the cars. I mean, RUNNING HUSTLING, these guys are getting after it. Personally, I don't run unless I'm chased, so I have major respect for the Valet Guys at Cool River.
Now, when I say this café is a cool place, I am not talking about the outside of the building that I see at first from the stop light, though it is VERY upscale in appearance. I'm a people watcher, so I see these guys running their butts off, eye balling my Roush (conjuring up images of the valet guys in Ferris Bueller's Day Off in MY head), and they are in a GREAT MOOD. After waiting in line to drop off my truck, to NO fault of theirs cause there was just THAT many vehicles, I hop out of the truck saying, "wow, to bad you guys aren't busy today, huh?" which gets a quick smile and laugh with a reply of, "yeah, we're hoping it picks up a little", and a valet ticket.
For me, personally, that says a LOT about the place. It's all a positive chain reaction. It means even with them being busy, they are in a great mood, which means they like it there, leading me to believe they are treated well, and giving me the "right out of the truck warm and fuzzy feeling" about what it's going to be like inside, and I'm sure the business brings great TIPS too. I liked the outside. I LOVED the INSIDE.
Once you enter and pull yourself away or passed the SMOKING HOT hostess, to the left is a dining area that is beautiful, to the right, a really good sized bar area, to which has a GREAT set up of tables. Tables? Yeah, tables. One of my biggest pet peeves about any bar is being at a one you can't even walk around in because they have crammed 100 tables into a shoe box sized room. This was NOT the case here. Well lit, a counter for getting all your pool stuff (and more hotties working there, the HR guy is a GENIUS), glass walled off pool table area, and the most important part to me, a perfectly sized bar for the room.
As Darrell and (insert name of Public House Bar Owner, can't remember for some reason) arrive within minutes of me, cause we're NEVER late for drinking heavily, we 'saddle up' to the bar. The atmosphere fits everyone and service is PRIMO quick.
Right off the bat, Darrel: "Jaeger Shots?"
Some stranger next to us: "You're doing shots? It's 1130" looking at his watch.
Me turning around "...hey man, you can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning"
Ching, ching, ching, gulp, slam, and here comes (insert her name, totally spaced it) with three more, "these are on me."
More from the guy not in our group to which I turn around again "...dude, this is nothing, I've been drinking since 9am..........................last Tuesday"
So as we continue to suck down beers, get what I was told and now TRULY believe was the "best damn rib steak quesadilla ever" I take note of the whole place. Now, I'm sure that they staffed up for this tourney which they are also running shuttles back and forth from, but whoever did the staffing for that day, had his suit together. It was PERFECT. The place is SLAM PACKED and getting more so by the minute, but you would never tell, cause the staff was EVERYWHERE you wanted them to be, WHEN you wanted them to be. As I said, service was PRIMO.
Oh YEAH, there was a Golf "thingy" going on too. After semi stumbling out to my truck to get a camera that I have to give up at the gate anyway (who knew?), we hit the shuttle over to the tournament. Got there and went straight to the beer pavilion. Some would look at us and call us Alcoholics, but that is BS. I believe the cliché goes: "Alcoholics attend meetings".
Sure, we did camp out all day at the beer tent, BUT this was NOT entirely our fault. You see, we are the "dreaded" smokers. So we have to get our COOPINS, beers, then stand just outside of the opening to the tent to smoke, watch the "parade" of women, and laugh among ourselves about the dressing habits of people that attend these tournaments. However, as we are standing there, people keep coming up to Darrell and handing him their extra COOPINS they apparently are not going to use.
So here we are, three guys that don't really do anything for a living, but drink, and Darrell is now a COOPIN magnet. We never figured out WHY, but we sure as hell were NOT going to ask either. :D
Here's the "I'm from the Midwest, never been to one of these things" impression I got. Apparently, back in "the day" I'm told these things were just giant "meat markets". The Men (rich late 40's, 50's, and up) are all out walking around with the leaders, watching the golf, and their wives (20's, 30', 40's or up with enough plastic and money to compete with the 20 year olds) are all in the tent drinking. The ratio of men to women on a Friday for the event in the tent may have gone down since the glory days, but the wives walking around in the tent drinking hasn't.
I believe I heard someone say "...if you're looking for a girl with a coke habit, fake boobs, and anxious to improve her sex life, this is where you wanna be..." And that is exactly what it looked like. Envision in your mind, uppity rich "DALLAS", and it was, mixed with a sold crowd of "thirty thousand-aires" wanting to be the uppity rich Dallas crowd, under a tent drinking heavily, mixed with "schmoozing"/elbow rubbing business encounters, and you are now on course with where we were.
The "wives clubs" at the event actually LIVE the Desperate Housewives life and I think I was visually molested the entire time I walked around there. I felt like I was walking around naked with vultures waited for me to die so they could swoop in. Hungry Cougar Central with a couple that I could have SWORN I've seen on a MILF website.
With all that going on, APPARENTLY, they have some sort of golf tournament going on. I would have never known it, cause I didn't see ONE STROKE. No, no, no, I take that back, I DID see a guy make a putt on the Jumbo tron.
Darrell: "They seemed to be doing a good job of serving us Jaeger Shots back at Cool River, wanna head back?"
Me: "Holy Crap, there's a golf course here too!!!"
So after I run around the house getting ready, looking for my car keys and sunglasses, which I can't find until I look in the refrigerator (??), and then get pissed cause I can't find my cell phone, realizing I'm ON IT, I'm off speeding down the highway to Cool River Café.
Being new to the area and like most places, I have never been to the Cool River, let alone Las Colinas, but I can tell right off the bat, it's a great place. With the Tourney going on, the valet guys are hustling their asses off to park all the cars. I mean, RUNNING HUSTLING, these guys are getting after it. Personally, I don't run unless I'm chased, so I have major respect for the Valet Guys at Cool River.
Now, when I say this café is a cool place, I am not talking about the outside of the building that I see at first from the stop light, though it is VERY upscale in appearance. I'm a people watcher, so I see these guys running their butts off, eye balling my Roush (conjuring up images of the valet guys in Ferris Bueller's Day Off in MY head), and they are in a GREAT MOOD. After waiting in line to drop off my truck, to NO fault of theirs cause there was just THAT many vehicles, I hop out of the truck saying, "wow, to bad you guys aren't busy today, huh?" which gets a quick smile and laugh with a reply of, "yeah, we're hoping it picks up a little", and a valet ticket.
For me, personally, that says a LOT about the place. It's all a positive chain reaction. It means even with them being busy, they are in a great mood, which means they like it there, leading me to believe they are treated well, and giving me the "right out of the truck warm and fuzzy feeling" about what it's going to be like inside, and I'm sure the business brings great TIPS too. I liked the outside. I LOVED the INSIDE.
Once you enter and pull yourself away or passed the SMOKING HOT hostess, to the left is a dining area that is beautiful, to the right, a really good sized bar area, to which has a GREAT set up of tables. Tables? Yeah, tables. One of my biggest pet peeves about any bar is being at a one you can't even walk around in because they have crammed 100 tables into a shoe box sized room. This was NOT the case here. Well lit, a counter for getting all your pool stuff (and more hotties working there, the HR guy is a GENIUS), glass walled off pool table area, and the most important part to me, a perfectly sized bar for the room.
As Darrell and (insert name of Public House Bar Owner, can't remember for some reason) arrive within minutes of me, cause we're NEVER late for drinking heavily, we 'saddle up' to the bar. The atmosphere fits everyone and service is PRIMO quick.
Right off the bat, Darrel: "Jaeger Shots?"
Some stranger next to us: "You're doing shots? It's 1130" looking at his watch.
Me turning around "...hey man, you can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning"
Ching, ching, ching, gulp, slam, and here comes (insert her name, totally spaced it) with three more, "these are on me."
More from the guy not in our group to which I turn around again "...dude, this is nothing, I've been drinking since 9am..........................last Tuesday"
So as we continue to suck down beers, get what I was told and now TRULY believe was the "best damn rib steak quesadilla ever" I take note of the whole place. Now, I'm sure that they staffed up for this tourney which they are also running shuttles back and forth from, but whoever did the staffing for that day, had his suit together. It was PERFECT. The place is SLAM PACKED and getting more so by the minute, but you would never tell, cause the staff was EVERYWHERE you wanted them to be, WHEN you wanted them to be. As I said, service was PRIMO.
Oh YEAH, there was a Golf "thingy" going on too. After semi stumbling out to my truck to get a camera that I have to give up at the gate anyway (who knew?), we hit the shuttle over to the tournament. Got there and went straight to the beer pavilion. Some would look at us and call us Alcoholics, but that is BS. I believe the cliché goes: "Alcoholics attend meetings".
Sure, we did camp out all day at the beer tent, BUT this was NOT entirely our fault. You see, we are the "dreaded" smokers. So we have to get our COOPINS, beers, then stand just outside of the opening to the tent to smoke, watch the "parade" of women, and laugh among ourselves about the dressing habits of people that attend these tournaments. However, as we are standing there, people keep coming up to Darrell and handing him their extra COOPINS they apparently are not going to use.
So here we are, three guys that don't really do anything for a living, but drink, and Darrell is now a COOPIN magnet. We never figured out WHY, but we sure as hell were NOT going to ask either. :D
Here's the "I'm from the Midwest, never been to one of these things" impression I got. Apparently, back in "the day" I'm told these things were just giant "meat markets". The Men (rich late 40's, 50's, and up) are all out walking around with the leaders, watching the golf, and their wives (20's, 30', 40's or up with enough plastic and money to compete with the 20 year olds) are all in the tent drinking. The ratio of men to women on a Friday for the event in the tent may have gone down since the glory days, but the wives walking around in the tent drinking hasn't.
I believe I heard someone say "...if you're looking for a girl with a coke habit, fake boobs, and anxious to improve her sex life, this is where you wanna be..." And that is exactly what it looked like. Envision in your mind, uppity rich "DALLAS", and it was, mixed with a sold crowd of "thirty thousand-aires" wanting to be the uppity rich Dallas crowd, under a tent drinking heavily, mixed with "schmoozing"/elbow rubbing business encounters, and you are now on course with where we were.
The "wives clubs" at the event actually LIVE the Desperate Housewives life and I think I was visually molested the entire time I walked around there. I felt like I was walking around naked with vultures waited for me to die so they could swoop in. Hungry Cougar Central with a couple that I could have SWORN I've seen on a MILF website.
With all that going on, APPARENTLY, they have some sort of golf tournament going on. I would have never known it, cause I didn't see ONE STROKE. No, no, no, I take that back, I DID see a guy make a putt on the Jumbo tron.
Darrell: "They seemed to be doing a good job of serving us Jaeger Shots back at Cool River, wanna head back?"
Me: "Holy Crap, there's a golf course here too!!!"